Merry Christmas to you, one of our thousands and thousands of loyal fans. We salute you!

Sorry about the extreme lazyness of no recent updates. We've been busy with the usual Christmas madness and have also been spending days on end in our lawyer's office thrashing out our new multi-million pound contract with EMI. So far we've sacrificed artistic freedom for the jacuzzi in the tour bus, so that's a result!

Anyway we are starting to line up some gigs for next year and so far have the Arc in Stockton and Darlo the night after for the Dognoise crew.

But the big news is that we are planning on re-issueing our entire back-catalogue. That's all the tapes, vinyl and CD's but all on CD this time around. So have a look in our discography section and start saving, although it is all going to be cheap 'cos we'll do it before the EMI deal kicks in. This idea was inspired by the great Brian a.k.a. Brain a.k.a. Billingham Forehead a.k.a. Pop Idle a.k.a. Sean a.k.a. Junior Elvis Singer who has pestered us for the old stuff for a while, but us being bums haven't got it together. So he'll get it all for nowt 'cos he is great.

We also have a bunch of new songs which we are hoping to "lay down" very soon. We have two heavyweight producers at the top of our list: Nathan "Right" Stephenson and Daniel "The Bibmeister" Bibby. So look out for some lovely new songs in your earholes soon.

Right better do some work, they'll sack me soon otherwise. Although soon I will be able to quit soon 'cos I'll be trundling along the A19 in the jacuzzi, ahhhhh....